For You

i don't know where to start..i don't know why.. why u did this? if u want the answer...here the answer..

yes i still not over u. yes i waited for u before..4 years..it is not a short time..we knew since we were 16..it is not if i already have someone else..it always about us..i told u..i need to move on..for u..u need to move on..for your family..your family already chose someone for u..u dont think my heart hurt so much after i heard that? i almost lost my faith..lost my life..i cant even think..i cannot do anything..

i feel like im dying there...without u...i feel im nothing..u were my life..my everything..i cried, begged to u before..then what u were doing at that time? i texted u..but u just ignore me like im just a stranger..like someone u never know..someone u dont wanna know..

if u asked me..what i said before when we met..yes it is true from my heart..i tried to win u back..but u made me like an idiot..begged u..and u just ignored me..

now u come back asking me so much question. u know my heart will shaking. and it did. if Allah let us to be together, it will be. i wish u all the best. just remember that i will be here if u need anything. im still ur friend that will push u through.

please do for your family.

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we used to lived each other. we used to be lovey dovey. we used to cannot live without each other. but not now. it ended. i don't know what went wrong. where the love gone? where all the promise that u promised me before i accept u? i am still waiting for the answer. but no answer.

i love u. yes. i love u with all my heart. still do. u are my life. and still do. i cannot live without u. if u already find someone else, that makes u feel in love again,tell me. maybe we are not meant to be each other. but just remember that i am still here. waiting. always for u.

i used to be easy to forget about the past. forgot about other people. but not u. untill now. still remember and thinking of u. the memories with u are keep playing in my mind. when i close my eyes, i see ur smile.

i still remember all the things that we did together. bowling, watch movies, walk from melaka sentral to aeon..and so many things. still remember u said that u dont like the heat. still remember thay u said that u miss ur mum and dad. u miss ur little brother. still remember that u cannot study because of the tension. i told u to talk to ur mum. it will makes u better.

and i still remember early 2011, something bad happened there. i cannot sleep. just thinking of your safety. i cried, i couldn't eat. i still remember that time i always sit infront of the laptop just to want to know the update. i called u. and make sure u make me a miss call to make sure u r ok.

4 years goes by...and i still love u like the early stage. i love u not because of your look, yes i admit u are good looking, have a nice body, a very good man. an amazing man. but i love u because of u. yes u.

but maybe the love isn't there anymore. its lost. it makes me lost. but i know, Allah always have the best plan for us.

Permintaan

Aku penat. Aku penat. Ya Allah andai kata kau mahu ambil aku, biarlah aku sudah menjadi yang halal dan dapat melahirkan zuriat untuk si dia. Selepas itu aku redha jika kau mengambilku. Tapi bukan sekarang. Aku mahu menjadi bidadari untuk dirinya bila di syurgaMu kelak. Hanya itu yang aku minta.